25 Ways to Annoy Everybody
1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which.
2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.
3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.
4) Act like a hillbilly. Period.
5) Improvise Italian operas.
6) Gossip about someone to their face.
7) Answer every question with a question.
8) Repeat yourself constantly.
9) Act like a member of the opposite sex.
10) Repeat yourself constantly.
11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.
12) Change what you repeat every now and then.
13) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.
14) Change what you repeat every now and then.
15) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.
16) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries.
17) Change what you repeat every now and then.
18) One word: Caffeine.
19) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar.
21) Using non-existent words like George Bush would.
22) Change what you repeat again.
23) Speak in rapid Spanish.
24) Pretend not to know about the rule of personal space.
25) When doing number 24, pretend to have a heavy nose cold causing you to breathe heavily through your mouth. Sneeze occasionally.